Igor, a successful Russian agrarian, is walking along the shore of the Black Sea. He finds an odd shaped lamp, so he picks it up and rubs it in jest. Out pops a Genie and promises to grant Igor only one wish.
"Gee, I have everything I need. I have a beautiful loving spouse, more money than I could ever spend, and I am free to travel anywhere in the world tending to my business interests. I really can't think of anything that I really need," says Igor.
"Think hard," says the Genie, "there must be something you wish that you had."
So Igor thinks long and hard for 20 minutes. Finally he says, "You know, I really do love drinking good Vodka, but sometimes I just can't find it when I want some. Therefore, I wish that I could piss Vodka."
"Very well," says the Genie, "Pissing Vodka you shall have."
The genie hands him a glass and instructs him to piss in it. He does. Then she asks him to smell it. He does. Then she asks him to taste it. He does.
"This is the best Vodka I've ever tasted!" Igor exclaims. "Thank you."
The Genie disappears, and Igor returns home. That night Igor gets 2 glasses and pisses into each one. He takes them into the den and gives one to his wife to drink and one for himself.
"This is delicious," his wife Raisa tells him.
So every night for the next 5 night he comes home from work, pisses in 2 glasses and enjoys the drink with his wife. On the seventh night he comes home from work but only pisses Vodka into one glass.
When he enters the den, Raisa asks him,"Where is my drink dear Igor."
"Ah," Igor replies, "Tonight I will teach you how to drink right from the bottle."